


Smooth Out the Creases

by trashcocoon



Series: This Is How They Fell In Love [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Chapter 49 spoilers, Crying, Erwins not fully clothed but it's not sexual, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 11:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5125079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashcocoon/pseuds/trashcocoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’d been released from the infirmary the day before, still wearing the pajamas they’d put him in there. Instantly Levi felt a surge of anger. How could those stupid-ass nurses not have seen this coming? He was missing an arm. How the fuck did they expect him to get dressed?<br/>“Levi. I’m sorry to ask this of you, but could you…” Erwin trailed off before he could say the word help. There was a look in his eyes that Levi had never seen before- embarrassment mixed with misery mixed with utter hopelessness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smooth Out the Creases

As usual, Levi got up with the sun. It wasn’t actually a habit- he’d just never bothered to get curtains for his windows, so the light always ended up waking him. Although, it wasn’t so much that he hadn’t bothered; he’d never really wanted curtains in the first place. After spending so much of his life in the dark, he couldn’t think of why he should ever actively block the sun out again.  
In the watery pink glow from the window, he quickly dressed and made his bed. Tuck in the sheets. Fold the blanket. Smooth out the creases. Routine. Cleanliness. Somehow it never got boring.  
Suddenly there was a knock on his door. Not the one that led out of his room, but the one that led to Erwin’s. After being promoted to captain, he’d been given his own room. The first time he went in to scope it out, he’d opened that door and strolled unknowingly right into what he quickly found out was Erwin’s room, where Erwin had looked up from his desk, startled.  
“Erwin? Oh- sorry. Didn’t realize where that door went.”  
Erwin had smiled and said, “It’s all right. But please knock first.”  
Levi had nodded and left the room. They’d never had cause to use it since, but now he walked over to the door and opened it, and there was Erwin, boxers just barely on, pants halfway up his legs, left arm jammed haphazardly into his shirt, purposely not looking at Levi.  
He’d been released from the infirmary the day before, still wearing the pajamas they’d put him in there. Instantly Levi felt a surge of anger. How could those stupid-ass nurses not have seen this coming? He was missing an arm. How the fuck did they expect him to get dressed?  
“Levi. I’m sorry to ask this of you, but could you…” Erwin trailed off before he could say the word help. There was a look in his eyes that Levi had never seen before- embarrassment mixed with misery mixed with utter hopelessness.  
“Erwin- shit. Yeah, sure, come in- oh wait. Okay, just…stand there or whatever, I’ll do this.”  
“Thank you,” said Erwin, polite as always but with something else creeping into the edges of his voice. Levi knelt down and grabbed the waistband of the pants and pulled them up Erwin’s legs as gently as possible- it suddenly felt like an absurdly long distance. He adjusted the boxers before quickly buttoning the pants around Erwin’s waist, not meeting his eyes once. Without thinking, he smoothed out the creases in the thighs with his hands- it was what he did with his own pants, but immediately after doing it he realized that was probably weird. Erwin made a small noise of surprise but didn’t protest.  
“Sorry,” muttered Levi, standing quickly to adjust the left sleeve of Erwin’s shirt then reaching for the right one. The room was dead silent but for the rustling of cloth. Carefully, Levi pulled the sleeve over Erwin’s stump. Erwin’s stump. Suddenly it hit him- it was gone. Actually gone. His right arm- no more battle for this otherwise strong, healthy body. In every other respect, Erwin was just fucking fine- why did this have to matter so much? How could one limb, not even a quarter of his body weight, have this impact? Never again would Levi look to his side and see Erwin lifting that arm in the air to signal the troops. Levi inhaled slowly through his nose and pushed his thoughts away. He tugged on the lapels of the shirt to straighten it out then began to button it. He watched as the rippling muscles, the strong body disappeared under the white fabric bit by bit, and again, he faltered. Abs, pectorals- he’d memorized the names of the muscles because he didn’t like not knowing something about his own body. But what would Erwin do with his now? That fucking titan hadn’t just taken his arm- it had taken his whole body. Again, Levi mentally slapped himself and finished buttoning the shirt before tucking it into the pants, pulling away quickly every time his fingers brushed Erwin’s skin. Wordlessly, Erwin handed him the sash and the jacket. Levi wrapped the sash around his hips then slid his arms- arm and stump- no- ugh- into the jacket, tugging on the lapels when he was finished, lingering for a moment before remembering the boots.  
“Boots,” he said curtly. Erwin didn’t need any explanation before turning and going back into his room and sitting down on the bed. Levi grabbed one of the boots on his floor and turned to him.  
“Wait a second- the three-d maneu-“  
“I don’t need it.”  
Right. Of course he didn’t. “Oh yeah,” said Levi, grabbing one of Erwin’s feet to slide the boot onto, when again, he faltered, this time for real. He finally looked up at Erwin’s face. He no longer looked embarrassed, but more sad and defeated. Defeated. Erwin couldn’t be defeated- he could do anything, he’d saved Levi, he’d saved humanity- how could- no.  
“Goddammit Erwin,” he said, his voice catching before shoving the boot on rather violently. He grabbed the other one and turned back to Erwin to put it on. Something wet fell on his hand. Levi looked up. Erwin was crying. His face wasn’t red or screwed up or anything- if it weren’t for the drops of water falling slowly from his eyes, he’d look perfectly normal. The room was silent. One tear. Two tears. Three. Levi was at a loss. Erwin was not emotional. Erwin was composed and smart and cordial and strong. Levi had no clue what to do with a crying Erwin. Then he remembered- that day, the day his family had been sloppily torn apart and spat unceremoniously at his feet- how he’d broken down, how he’d fallen at Erwin’s feet and wept helplessly. Erwin had done the right thing, said the right thing, and now it was time for Levi to return the favor. Levi finished putting on the boot then straightened up, looked right at Erwin’s face, and realized he had no idea what to say.  
“Erwin- fuck- don’t- shit- Goddammit! I swear to God, I’ll kill- I’ll kill- I don’t know, the titans, the military police- just stop crying!” Erwin drew in a shaky breath. “Wait- no, shit- don’t stop crying, actually. Just let it out. You can’t let anybody else see this, they’ll lose faith in you. Look, it’s just your arm.”  
“Just my arm?” asked Erwin dryly, raising an eyebrow. “Levi- I can’t- I can’t ever fight again. I can’t actually lead the Corps in battle, I can’t- I can’t ever dance with you again.”  
At that, Levi felt something welling in the back of his own throat. “Yes you can, Erwin!” he barked angrily. “You know why? Because I don’t give a fuck! I wouldn’t give a fuck if you were missing all your limbs and your head, because it’s never going to change the fact that you’re my commander and I’m your right hand man! And it’s not gonna change that for anyone else either! You’re more of a hero than you ever were, but that’s the only thing that’s changed. The whole Goddamn army is looking to you! Not your arm- lack of arm- you. It doesn’t change a fucking thing!” Erwin looked up, the sunlight catching on the angles of his face and making the tear tracks glitter.  
“You’re right,” he said, his expression melting into a soft, quiet smile. “Thank you. I’m sorry I-“  
“Stop it, said Levi, shaking with anger. “Stop saying you’re sorry. You didn’t rip your own arm off, did you? Don’t be sorry. Just be the commander.”  
“Just…be the commander,” Erwin murmured. “I will. I will. Thank you, Levi,” he said, standing. “Thank you for dressing me and for talking to me. You…thank you.”  
“Whatever,” said Levi, also standing, all the adrenaline drained out of him. The room was silent. The sun was up. The day had begun, whether they liked it or not. He turned to go to his own room when Erwin said, “Levi.”  
Levi didn’t turn around. “What.”  
A hand, warm and heavy, was placed on his shoulder. “Levi…I guess you can’t really be my right hand man anymore, but will you at least promise to never leave my side?”  
A wind blew through the open window. “I promise,” said Levi, then walked back to his room, and shut the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I realize I forgot the tie.


End file.
